If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no

I think we’ve all tuned into the fact that we need to get more comfortable saying no - no to more things on our plate and no to things that make us feel uncomfortable. There is no self-help concept that’s garnered as much attention in recent years as that of Boundaries. Build them and enforce them. 

 But I think a lot of us struggle with where to put up those boundaries. 

 When we know something is going to suck, we know we should say no. 

 But what about all those things we’re waffling on? A friend asks you to volunteer at a nonprofit with her. It doesn’t sound like the worst idea. You know it’s a nonprofit you support. You can think of a lot of good reasons why you “should” do it. But you’re not excited about it. You don’t have a “yes!” feeling in your gut. Some people might say give it a try, maybe you’ll like it. I say, say no thank you and don’t look back. 

If it’s not a hell yes it’s a hell no. 

Spending time on bullshit (ie, stuff you’re not excited about) is stressful. And depleting. And it wastes time that you could be spending on things you are excited about. Or doing nothing. Worst of all, it closes you off to the opportunities to do the things that were meant for you had you been open and available. 

This model has helped me so much with decision making. Instead of going back and forth on why you should or shouldn’t do something (stressing yourself out with just the decision), trust your gut. It’s either yes or it’s the absence of yes. Don’t do it unless you actually want to do it.